MEMO TO TO POOPYHEAD O'REILLY FROM BABY ALEX

by Steve Young

Hi, Bill, i'm Baby Alex and...

Whoa! That is one humongous head! Sorry. Some adults get a little too close for comfort.

You may be familiar with me from my adorable appearance in the Moveon.org political ad reminding people that John McCain has said that he's fine with our troops staying in Iraq for 100 years.

In your newspaper column this week you wrote that my ad's "intent is deadly serious: to damage John McCain."

Hyperbole much, Bill?

I may be an infant, and to compose a column I need your basic "cooing to written word" MAC transcriber, but it doesn't take a Baby Einstein to know that your political ad comprehension is about as microscopic as your under 75 year old demographic.

Political Ads 101, Bill. Every partisan ad is meant to either promote or damage. But "deadly" because it seeks the defeat of John McCain? Then every ad that McCain or his PAC's run seeking to defeat Obama is also deadly serious. Are you going to do a column on those?

If The Folks™ believe that then I've got some Factor Gear they might be interested in.

You write that, "Perhaps Baby Alex's mom could also explain to him that he will never have to live under a tyrant like Saddam Hussein because his country embraces freedom."

I wasn't born yet, Bill. Was that the reason President Bush said we were invading Iraq?

You also wrote that "(I) could settle in for a nice nap, knowing that a nutritious meal will be ready for (me) upon waking -- a meal millions of babies in other countries will never get."

What? Like the millions of innocent Iraqi civilians who had to leave their homes and country and were never asked whether or not they'd appreciate us reeling in terrorists over there so we don't have to fight them over here?

You write "Baby Alex might not understand the geopolitical implications."

Hey, Bill. I'm just a baby. I'm not supposed to understand. However, even a doodyhead like you should. But as long as I doubt you'll be clarifying it for The™, let me explain "deadly serious" for you.

Leaving our young men and women in uniform -- for a century yet -- in the middle of a civil war that we had no business getting into in the first place, where over 4,100 of them have already lost their futures and their families' lives mortally altered forever.

That is deadly serious.

Leaving tens of thousands of American soldiers physically and emotionally scarred.

That is deadly serious.

Spending trillions to fight a war over something Americans never gave their approval to.

That too, is deadly serious.

But a political ad...deadly? C'mon, Bill. Even the guys down at Gymboree aren't buyin' that.

To tell you the truth I found it problematic that my ad mentioned "100 years." Mr. McCain had also said on Face The Nation, that "I Don't Think Americans Are Concerned If We're There For 100 Years Or 1,000 Years Or 10,000 Years."

While there be little I can relate to with your audience besides wearing diapers and having great difficulty in chewing solid food, I know a "Spin Stops Here" pile of poop when I smell it. Your canned logic is as clear as what you spoonfeed The Folks™ every night. At least when my mom serves up the pablum, I get to play airplane first. Your continued clumsy attempts to pose your right wing bias as being non-spinning independent are about as well-concealed as the undigested corn in my deadly serious diaper.

You ask, "What kind of voter is that supposed to reach?"

Obviously it reached you.

I'm deadly serious.