WHY DOES BILL-O HATE TODAY'S BOB HOPE?
by Steve Young
Steve Young columns
week Bill O'Reilly went to Afghanistan last week and came back
decrying that "the USO has sent very few famous people to visit the
troops in Afghanistan."
"In the past year only a few people like Toby Keith, Tom Arnold and
myself have showed up in Afghanistan."
I'm sure Arnold will be sending flowers to Bill for still being listed in
the "very famous" category. But while Bill may have to spend the next
week at Walter Reed recovering from injuries sustained from his incessant
patting himself on the back, his trip to visit the troops should be
applauded. Good-O Bill-O.
But if you're one of the Folks who gets all your news from Fox and The
Factor, it might come as a surprise that many of those Bill despises have
laid the groundwork for his visit to Afghanistan.
Comic Kathy Griffin, who Bill has labeled a "Pinhead" in his" Pinhead and
Patriots" segment, entertained the troops in Afghanistan years before the
Preening King of Spin did.
Robin Williams tossed punchlines out in Afghanistan before Bill made it
You say you didn't know? I guess you missed the Factor's "The Hollywood
Left Loons Patriots" segment where Bill tells the other side of dark
side. You know, the Fair and Balanced side.
This isn't to say that even more haven't been working for the USO in
Try comics Dave Attell, Jaimie Kennedy and David Allen Grier, Aerosmith,
Carrie Underwood, Henry Rollins, and, of course, Gary Sinize.
Bill wanted to know where American sports celebrities were.
Guess Bill doesn't consider the National Football League an athlete
sanctuary. They send a USO contingent of players to Afghanistan and Iraq
Mentioning that might have diluted his "spin stops here" spin.
In congratulating what Bill sees as the success of the surge, he pulled a
blast directly from his ass able to spin it into a condemnation of the
"The Democratic leadership, of course, opposed the surge. So while the
Bush administration has made big errors in Iraq, the Democrats have now
joined the mistake zone. Have they not?" Even if were anywhere near
correct, what the fuck does that have to do with sending celebrities to
entertain the troops? Point is, Bill can't do a good thing without
climbing on top of it to complain about someone else. Never let a good
deed go without a dig at your personal demons.
But Bill insists on more for the boys. He calls for a celebrity surge led
by a reincarnation of the Mr. USO himself.
"Where is the modern-day Bob Hope?"
Good question, Bill. We do need another Bob "Never Spend Christmas At
Home" Hope for the 2000s and I know you would agree that someone who's
gone "over there" there without needing any urging from you -- more than
once or twice -- would make sense.
That's why I'm nominating your old buddy, Al Franken. Franken, who Bill
has nothing but contempt for, has been on four USO Tours since Bush has
been in office, including Afghanistan and Iraq. If you really had the
troops in mind, Bill, and aren't making your appeal as just another macho
scream for attention and an attempt to demean "Hollywood," you'd agree.
And I'm sure when Al is elected to the Senate, he'll be glad to take you
up on your invite to again visit the troops any number of places,
including Afghanistan. In fact, how cool would it be if you went with Al
as his Jerry Colonna? Ann Coulter could be your Ann Margaret. You want to
get the word out about how this isn't about politics, tell me that
wouldn't do it big time.
That isn't to say there shouldn't be more entertainment for the troops.
Hell, it be nice if everyone of them could return home so they could see
entertainment every night without having to worry about going out the
next morning to become a target for some IED.
How about calling for that, Bill? I'd even sing your praises.
Award-winning TV writer, Steve Young, is author of "Great Failures of the Extremely Successful" (www.greatfailure.com) and his "All The News That's Fit To Spoof" appears in L.A. Daily News opeds every Sunday(www.dailynews.com/columnists), right next to Bill's...really
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Albion Monitor November
30, 2007 (http://www.albionmonitor.com)
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