WHO WILL REPLACE IMUS?

by Steve Young

Don't know if you heard, but the real news (of Anna Nicole's baby's allocation) was bumped last week by this old radio guy named Don Imus who lost his TV/radio gig for what was an insensitive putdown of the newly-lated Don Ho. I might not have that exactly right, but there was so little coverage, I couldn't be sure. But no matter the reason for Don's forced departure (Imus not Ho), there will be a tremendous void left in the broadcast a-hole world. Don Imus's replacement has yet to be named but my guess it will be someone with a no-risk, good-natured approach who has never offended anyone (on the left).

And we need look no further that Radio's top talk show hosts; to those who have never ventured into the need-to-be-made-an-example-of territory because they know better than to joke about minorities.

Someone like Glenn Beck. Of course, unless, some Islamic college is seeded in some NCAA tournament and Muslim Congressman Keith Ellison of Minnesota is coaching the team.

Perhaps Bill O'Reilly. He's said there's far too much hate speech and sexism out there, but that's only when he harrasses younger female employees. Not his audience.

'Course there's Rush Limbaugh. You couldn't find any fault with his mocking someone with Parkinson's. May I remind you that it's a disease, my friends, not a color.

What about Neal Boortz? When he said former Rep. Cynthia McKinney "looks like a ghetto slut," he was only talking about one black woman, not an entire basketball team.

Laura Ingram might be a terrific catch. She outed homosexuals and called them sodomites, but only until she discovered her brother was gay.

Let's not forget Bill Bennett. He advanced the idea of aborting every black baby in this country to reduce crime. That's black babies, my friend. Not jocks. We don't even know if these are kids who would ever grow up talented enough to go strong to the hoop.

There's a bunch more out there, though I doubt you could rip Michael Savage away from the 300+ radio stations who have yet to suspend him. Sure, telling a gay person he should "get AIDS and die" got him bumped off MSNBC, but never radio. And why should that be a reason for dismissal? Other than gays, women, liberal Jews, immigrants -- especially Latinos -- and too many more to list here, Savage has pretty much never offended anyone of any import.

All of them offer fine potential for a cleansing of the airwaves of America.

Then again, if you think that anything these guys might have said was over the line, keep in mind that none of them thought so little of their scapegoats and victims that they would joke about them like Imus did. No. These guys were all dead serious, and if nothing else, they meant what they said.

And that, Mr and Mrs Radio America, is what good clean radio is all about.

Now, can we please get back to the important news? So, what do you think? Will Anna Nicole's mom get visitation?