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by Steve Young

Steve Young columns

First President Bush and his rubber stamp Congress tried to screw with Veteran's benefits, unwilling to fund treatment for the soldiers' that had served in harm's way.

Next, Republicans vote against giving the troops still in harm's way respectable time to be with their families, away from harm's way. The media claimed the failure of the Senate Bill was a defeat for the Democrats, but it was actually a defeat against our troops in harm's way.

Now, the president has vowed to veto an expansion of the State Children's Health Insurance Program, accusing Democrats of putting health coverage for poor children at risk. Problem is, the president's "stay the course" funding, which Republicans will say adds $1 billion a year to the plan, won't even meet the present level of coverage. Bush, in other words, is refusing to fully fund his own plan.

It's almost like refusing to fully complete one's own "(not) in harm's way" military service to his country.

But with all this going on, what does the media deem most important story of the day?

A fucking newspaper ad! After published the "General Betray Us" ad that took the President and his General Repeater In Charge to task, the Lords of Loud roared that it was a condemnation of the entire military. Always eager to rush to the front of a parade, the Senate voted to denounce the ad. A vote, mind you, that Republicans didn't feel necessary to bring up when John Kerry was swiftboated ad infinitum.

And the "liberal" media follows in lockstep, making the ad more important than any real concern for the real troops. Or now, concern for the kids.

For crissakes, folks, howzabout dealing with what this president and his partisans are actually doing to this country instead of what their talking points tell you to write?

The troops? The kids? A newspaper ad?

Obviously the President, the Congress and the liberal media have made their choice of what is most important to them.

And Democrats let that happen. Should they wonder why this Congress has 11 percent favorable rating?

Please, No "Marcel Marceau Has Died" Jokes

Yes, he was a mime, and everyone hates mimes. Even mimes hate mimes. Self-hate is one of the great motivators in show biz.

But no one hated Marcel Marceau who died Saturday at the age of 84 -- except maybe for the dog he insisted on taking for walks whenever the wind built up to unwalkable strength. Spitting into the wind? Try peeing into it.

See, that's what I would write if I were one of those obnoxious comedy writers who only goes for the most obvious joke -- the kind of jokes that are likely to appear any moment at The Onion or on Leno Monday (or on Sunday night at the Comedy and Magic Club).

I'm not.

But if I were:

I would expect mimes around the world to stop working endlessly boring parties for a moment of conversation, shedding a tear that was painted on their face.

That he was at the end of his rope that didn't exist.

That he be buried in the same box he was unable to get out of for years.

And that his last words were: "_______________________________"

See, if I did write those easy gags, it would not only show me to be a shameless exploiter of a man's death, but would also send a clear signal that I have no idea what satire is supposed to be.

So, please. If you have a shred of decency, let the man lie in peace...

and quiet.

Steve Young is author of "Great Failures of the Extremely Successful" and his weekly Sunday column appears every Sunday just to the left of Bill O'Reilly's in the L.A. Daily News

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Albion Monitor   September 21, 2007   (

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