CHECK THE CALENDAR, BILL

by Steve Young

"I'm giving it two more months" -- Bill O'Reilly, Radio Factor, June 20, 2007

Could it be two months already? Well, bless my "Keep it Pithy" t-shirt, yes it has.

Two full months since Bill gave George Bush, the White House and the military (which I guess includes the troops) his "drop dead date" ultimatum on his Radio Factor. (AUDIO)

Two months since Bill declared that "Iraq must have its house in order." Oil deal in the parliamentary bank. Iraqi fighters taking over the fight from our boys.

Okay, let's go over the list.

Iraq's house in order: Uncheck

Oil deal set: Uncheck

Iraqi boys ready to stand up so our boys can stand down: Double uncheck.

Yep. Everything not there.

Of course there will be naysayers. There always are with Bill, just waiting to replay his actual, unedited words so to twist Bill's own recollection. Facts placed on the O'Reilly tracks attempting to derail the No-Spin Express that only desires to pull into Factor Station and take the Folks for one whopper of a ride.

Just watch. Mediamatters, DailyKos, even The Countdowner. You know, the usual hate-filled, hate-America, underminers of the troops and smear-sites who'll surely contend that Bill will try and spin his way out of this; that he'll say he was only using hyperbole, that "two months" is just an expression, and when he said "two months" he meant "whenever and whatever I want it to mean."

But that's not the Bill I know. Not the kid from the mean streets and private schools he attended on Levittown-adjacent Long Island; not the kind-of-being-in-war-correspondent who came face-to-face with death in the Falklands instead of coming face to face with enlisting in Vietnam when he had the chance; not the "Factor For Kids" author who spoke of a kidnaped child as enjoying his sexually abusive captivity; nor, the "Cultural Warrior" who sexually harassed a younger female employee as part of his war for the kind of culture he knew she wanted -- and wanted it bad.

The Bill I know won't back down. He will stand rock-hard behind his ultimatum.

And he won't say he meant that he would wait until the Pertraeus "Filtered Though The White House Fact Refinery" Report because when he made his proclamation he never mentioned Petraeus, only the Iraqi military readiness and an agreed-to parliament oil deal.

What the Bill I know will tell the Folks is that the Bush Administration and their Iraqi government had more than five years to get this thing right; that they have proven over and over that giving them any more time is just not paying attention to the no-spin facts that neither Bush nor Iraq has any idea what they're doing. Most of all, he'll say that even though the President believes that 3,700 dead isn't enough, not one more American soldier's blood will be spilled on Bill's watch.

But what will Bill do to hold the Administration's feet to the fire? Push for getting Bush thrown out? Give the Folks Bush's personal e-mail and phone number (but reminding them to be courteous when demanding Bush's ouster)? Or perhaps the Factor death penalty: Boycotting America?

We'll have to wait until he announces it on the radio or TV today and then followup in his weekly nearly coherent column. But whatever it is, you know that if Bush and his cronies don't do the right thing, Bill will "tear their throats out."

And we wouldn't expect any less..

After all, Bill, you are watching out for us, aren't you?