REPUBLICANS EATING THEIR OWN

by Steve Young

With utmost appreciation to talk radio host Stephanie Miller and her mooks for creating the most apropos description from their own Republicans Eating Their Own segment, this past week Republicans not only ate their own, but before they even digested a good portion of George Bush, one of the administration's favorite right-sided carnivores actually praised...wait for it...wait for it...Hillary Clinton.

And who started off the Grand Old Party's Smorgasbord? Why, no one other than the GOP head cook and bottle washer, President George Bush, who decided to serve up fresh Conservative anti-Immigration Bill appetizers.

Bush chastised opponents of the bill, most of them from his own party, saying that if they oppose the bill they "...don't want to do what's right for America." Garsh. Republicans deciding against the best interest of America. What's next? Republicans undermining the troops?

Then the Republican "you eat me, than I eat you" tit-for-tat started in earnest. Former Reagan speech-writer Peggy Noonan wrote in the Wall Street Journal that "This White House thinks its base is stupid." Kettles aplenty calling the pot black in that group.

Sen. Lindsey Graham went in for a hot wing of Right. "We're gonna tell the bigots to shut up." Yowza! At least some honesty was seeping out

Rush Limbaugh, already tired of "carrying water" for the 'Pubs, said it's gotten "rough defending the President." Democrats, step away from the table. Might get hit by a flying piece of Rove-fried Bush.

Noonan serves up the main course. "The great shortcoming of this White House, the great thing it is missing, is simple wisdom." Hmm. Good question. Simple or wisdom? Which best describes this administration?

Homeland Security Secretary, Michael Chertoff, suggested that opponents of the Immigration Bill would prefer illegal immigrants be killed.

Sunday brunch for the rabid right cannibals was served sans immigration: Iraq ala Bush au jus.

On Fox News Sunday, that far-left loon, Newt Gingrich, said, "We're losing this war with Islamo-terrorists." Not "making progress." Not "too early to gauge how the surge is going." Nope. Clear and simple, Fox News' favorite pundit and just waiting to be drafted...into the presidential race, Gingrich said "five and a half years after 9/11, we are losing the war to the (terrorists)."

You would have thought we were in the middle of a Keith Olbermann "special comment" or CNN's Democratic Presidential debate. But no need for Dems to jump in with this ravenous band of neo-con vultures waiting in the buffet line for more red meat.

Brit Hume said that Gingrich "sounds like he's running on Mike Dukakis's platform."

Snap!

But they weren't finished. Bill Krystol reached across the table for the last Republican presidential candidate actually seen hugging Bush. "McCain is in deep trouble."

And when you find out who's believing in the Democratic chances in 2008 you know it's got to be all over except for the belching.

On Meet The Press, Mary Matlin, the Administration apologist's apologist stepped forward and stuck a fork in what was left over of the Republican Party. Hillary Clinton would be "tough to run against," and then Matlin gave Hil' a you-go-girl slap on the back.

Whew. With a Party like that, Republicans don't need a primary. They need a stomach pump.