TIME FOR DENNIS MILLER TO PUT UP OR SHUT UP, CHACHI

by Steve Young

"Liberals hate America."

Wait a minute. I need to catch my breath. Hard to speak when you're laughing uncontrollably. No. Not Laughing. Gagging. Yep, that's it. That's what I'm doing.

Evan Sayet is a "satirist, lecturer, writer" who's got a YouTube speech at the Heritage Foundation" wending its way though the conservative email forwards. (Find it yourself. I'm not giving it any more promotion than I have to).

Humor is so subjective so it's not for me to tell you whether Sayet is really funny. I could tell you what I think,but then what kind of blogger would I be. What I can tell you is that much of his "standup" is based on the truism that "Liberals Hate America."

He was on Dennis Miller's new radio show Friday, and Dennis didn't bat an audio brow to the LHA setup. Both Dennis and Sayet were clear to say that liberals aren't evil, but they just "side with evil." See, that I'm comfortable with. Evil over good. I tuck my kids in every night with that one.

NOTE: When the final autopsy is done on Dennis Miller, I'm putting odds on them finding an alien body who's eaten away at the left side of Dennis's brain and only left eight-syllable words to express his lack of sound argument...Babe.

Sayet likened liberals after 9/11 to a man who couldn't care less if his wife gets beaten up by some stranger. You have to admit, that's not only hysterically funny, but a faithful depiction of the feelings of most every liberal you know when those towers went down. (For the subtlety-challenged, I'm being facetious)

I am so sick and tired of the Liberals Hate America mantra. It's bad enough that it's used as the basis of most any Rush Limbaugh diatribe, but that it's used as the foundation of satirical material is mortal sin in the comic biz. Satire itself is supposed to be grounded in truth. Not just some bull that Karl Rove crapped all over reality.

It's not a surprise that the guy who was "singled out by Rush Limbaugh for his explanation of why Liberals lie" (blurb from Sayet's website), has developed his act on a pretense pulled out of his (and Rush's ample) ass. What continues to surprise me is Dennis Miller's willingness to go along with it. Dennis used to work for me at Philly's Comedy Works I never found him to be anything less than lucid and clever to a fault. Of course, that was after checking with my "Dennis Miller Obscure Historical Reference Thesaurus," a must for average (and probably drunk) stand up fan.

The " 9/11 changed everything" doctrine seems to permeate the metamorphosis of every former liberal turned conservative. It tends to include some variation of "I turned to my liberal friends who now blamed America for everything; including knocking down the World Trade Center."

I think it's proven to be more "after 9/11, I turned to the neo-conservative power structure who now saw a great opportunity to turn this massive national, and human, tragedy into a political tool to demonize the left." It wasn't a liberal who told a GOP governors conference that the Iraq war could be used politically.

Miller -- and I'm sure most Republicans with half a brain -- know that if a poll were taken of "liberals" as to who was at fault for 9/11, 95 percent-plus-plus wouldn't say America. They might say Saudi Arabia, but not America.

But even more of an calculated lapse of honesty, the "Blame America for everything"and "America is evil" inanity should be put out to pasture with "Have you or anyone you know ever been a member of the Communist Party" red herring damnation tools. Miller and Sayet both know that most any reference to fault for mistakes and nefarious actions is aimed at the Bush administration, not America. To not differentiate between the two by the Right is a deliberate lie or a lack of any political lucidity. I'll admit to the liberal "hate Bush crowd" before I'd ever acknowledge any truth behind a liberal "hate America crowd."

To call half of America "America haters" based on anecdotal evidence is a conscious effort to split America. And that I submit, is a true hatred of everything America stands for. Or what I like to call, "talk radio."

On his show, Friday, Dennis again asserted the "My liberal friends..." setup. His "friends" hate O'Reilly. Dennis asks if they've watched it. They say "no." See, liberals form their opinions out of hole-cloth.

But, many of my liberal friends both hate O'Reilly AND have watched him (especially when I was on).

Perhaps a fun show would be to have Dennis's liberal friends and my liberal friends debate which side hates America more. Funny thing is, I have some of the same friends Dennis has.

There is no mistaking Miller for a simpleton, or a coward, but I wonder if he would be willing to provide a list, or at least an honest poll of his liberal friends, to find out what percentage really "hate America." Past anecdotal stories. Past hyperbole. Past Bob Dylan reading Finnegans Wake in a wind tunnel during a lunar eclipse sometime between the Renaissance and the day Oedipus got caught cheating on his mother with Clinton.

I'll be waiting at the Heritage Foundation Improv to hear the results of Dennis's poll.