YOUR ELECTION '06 GUIDE TO TALK RADIO TALKBACK
by Steve Young
Steve Young columns
the Lords of Loud have been obnoxious? Offensive? Pinheaded?
You ain't seen nothing yet.
This Monday and late into Tuesday, the fertilizer-spreaders will be working full tilt to shovel out the White House/Karl Rove message:
"Unless you want the San Francisco-values™ of far left™ undermining-the- troops™ moonbat™ secular-progressives™ like Nancy Pelosi™ (where is she hiding?™) and Ted Kennedy™ (hiccup™) to win in the most important election in history™, you'll vote straight (or closeted) Republican. Because if you vote Democrat™ic, the terrorist will have won™."
Your mission, if you wish to accept it, is to call everyone of these m*****-f***ers and in the 5 seconds they give you to speak before they lay down their talking point list, is to get to their truth of the matter.
You'll have to get in and get out, because that's all the time you'll have. But, if you set it up right, before they realize what you're saying, you've said it.
You have to be smart.
First, and probably most important, start off by saying...
"(Sean, Bill, Rush, Neal, et al) you're a great American" and that you're "a Democrat but this time you're voting Republican because I refuse to believe the lies the Democrats want you to believe, like..."
(Deliver in no particular order)
We found no WMD in IRAQ.
....Donald Rumsfeld said he "couldn't see the war going past six months," and "You go to war with the army you have, not the one you want."
...Vice President Cheney said "The insurgency, if you will, is in its last throes" and that "We will, in fact, be greeted as liberators."
...After Katrina crushed New Orleans, President Bush said "Brownie, your'e doin' a heckuva job," and "no one could have anticipated the breaching of the levees."
...After screwing up our intelligence, George Tenet received the Medal of Freedom from the President.
...Paul Wolfowitz testified the war would pay for itself.
...Barbara Bush said that living in the Astrodome was working out really well for Katrina victims.
....Tony Snow said that the thousands killed in Iraq were "just a number."
...The President admitted that he just doesn't think that much about bin Laden.
...655,000 Iraqis have died in this war.
...The President called this war a "comma"; a "nanosecond."
...The President gave free reign to those who want to attack us in the Dubai Ports scandal.
...Vice President Cheney brought in Big Oil to his closed-door pow-wow to set up an energy policy that enriched Big Oil.
...Republicans let the pharmaceutical lobby to write the pharmaceutical legislation.
...The entire administration outed a CIA Agent, and the President who vowed, "If anyone in this administration was involved in it, they would no longer be in this administration," did nothing of the sort.
...The Republicans in Congress cut veterans' benefits until the Democrats embarrassed them into uncutting them.
...The President and Rumsfeld sent our the troops into harm's way under-equipped.
...We lost billion$ meant to rebuild Iraq while sending unqualified bureaucrats to Iraq ONLY because they were Republican.
...We lost hundreds of thousands of weapons in Iraq, which will be used against us.
...The White House sent other family's children into war, but not their own.
...Did not take the advice of generals, but blamed them for the problems in Iraq.
...The White House courted the religious right, then flipped them off.
...President Bush has borrowed trillions from our children's future, placing it in the pockets of the wealthiest Americans and calls it a booming economy™.
...The Attorney General told us the Geneva Conventions are "quaint."
...And that President Bush said "Mission Accomplished."
"But they can't fool me. I watch Fox and know the truth.
By the way, did I tell you were a great American™?
You won't be able to get most of in. Doesn't matter. You will have done your country proud. Unfortunately, sine Fox security probably has your information™, if anyone of you should be caught or killed, the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions.
Steve Young is author of "Great Failures of the Extremely Successful"(www.greatfailure.com) and the wacky new children's novel, "15-Minutes" (HarperCollins)
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Albion Monitor November
2, 2006 (http://www.albionmonitor.com)
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