Copyrighted material


by Steve Young

Steve Young columns

This week, Tony Snow said of the President's decision to veto Stem Cell funding stems, that is stems from the fact that, plain and simple, President Bush believe it's MURDER! Da-da-dum.

"The president believes strongly that for the purpose of research it's inappropriate for the federal government to finance something that many people consider murder; he's one of them."

But then it would follow that the tossing away of the over 400,000 available stem cells in question would also be murder. The bastards.

Now I don't know who is actually in charge of the homicides of those innocent...cells, but it would seem to me that if the President really means what he says, he will be going after every one of these killers and throw the Texas gas chamber at 'em. Whomever he or they are, they'll be killing more of those little lives than Saddam ever did, and we certainly didn't let him get away with it. And you just have to know that if they think so little of those little...lives, how much of a stretch is it to think they might be tortured and, God forbid, abused in rape rooms, albeit in very small rape rooms by very tiny rapists, but raped all the same. Tortured and raped little bitty cells. And don't get me started on cell porn. Worse, kiddie cell porn. It's all over the net. Cells that could be mine or yours. Or, God forbid, your children's cells.

Add to that the hundreds of thousands, maybe millions, of more cells...lives -- I can't be sure what to call them, but it doesn't matter what they're called, we're talking about living, breathing -- okay, they don't breathe but one day, maybe, strapped up to some sort of cell-life supporting equipment -- that (or who) could be tortured, raped and slaughtered through private funding.

Mr. President, your White House Chief of Staff, Josh Bolton, on this Sunday's "Meet The Press," said that, well, what your handlers always say...

"This president will not pay attention to polls. He will be doing what he believes is right."

Is it right to let these people get away with murder of American cells on U.S. soil? Who cares where the funding comes from. It's as plain as the mug on yer face. Moida is moida, I tells ya!

But the fact is, the President won't be chasing down those cell killers and rapists. Why? Because he knows it's not about core rights and wrongs. It's about core voters. And because this President's rights have been wrong way too many times.

Take Iraq. I mean, he tried to. Do we have enough unused embryonic stem cells to count how many times he's been wrong there?

His defense is that he makes his war decisions based on what he was told by the commanders on the ground. One can only conclude that the commanders on the ground must have had no idea what they were doing or -- get the talk shows hosts ready to pounce -- the president is lying.

Perhaps Mr. Bolton means that those times he has been wrong, he still thought he was right. Then he's not a liar at all. He's an idiot. Or it maybe it's what I've always thought: the man has the worst judgement in the world.

Bolton said that in dealing with the stem cell funding, federal or private, a balance needs to be struck. What? A balance between federally-funded murder and privately funded murder? Good murder and bad murder?

No, Bolton said that the President recognizes that there are other Americans who believe that it important research (over 70 percent) and a balance has to be struck with those folks. Wait a minute. Isn't that paying attention to polls?

I realize that he wants us to believe that what he's doing is right, but if he wants the American public to believe him at his word, he's going to have to follow through and do that by bringing the privately-funded homicidal cell killers and rapists to justice...unless what he really is saying is that...

Murder is okay as long as we don't fund murder. Then, he'd have to let Osama go. Oh, forgot. He already did.

Steve Young, author of "Great Failures of the Extremely Successful" and the forthcoming "15 Minutes" (Harper Collins). Steve's column can be read every Sunday in the LA Daily News Op-Ed page (right next to Bill O'Reilly)

Comments? Send a letter to the editor.

Albion Monitor   July 22, 2006   (

All Rights Reserved.

Contact for permission to use in any format.