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by Steve Young

Steve Young columns

Sometimes it takes another potential 9/11, like the terrorist Gatorade-gel plan to bring down planes over the Atlantic, to realize how wrong and at fault the Democrats are on the war on terror.

Add the Ned Lamont win in Connecticut to their traitorous mix, and the Democratic Party might as well draw al Qaeda a map to every one of those Homeland Security targets in Indiana. Go ahead: Ask RNC chairman Ken Mehlman. Ask Dick Cheney. Ask Sean Hannity. Ask the guy who wrote the Republican talking points that were sent out moments after Joe Lieberman finished his non-concession speech.

Sure, some call it fear-mongering. But is it fear-mongering to note remind us that World Wars only occured when Democratic Presidents were in office? It only takes a cursory flip through the history books to chronicle the Democratic Party's connection to the world's most horrific events, even as they work hard today to undermine our troops.


The Flintstones -- Early liberals like Barney, Fred, Wilma and Betty selfishly ate humongously large dinosaur ribs, forsaking the benefits of leaving the enormous mammoths to just die and become mammoth deposits of oil so that we didn't have to go into terrorist-swathed countries just to power a well-deserved Hummer or two.


Crusades -- The only thing that kept "Passion of the Christ" from being a documentary was the fact that you couldn't find a decent camera in 33. With director Gibson proving once and for all that the Jews nailed Christ, is there any question that most of the Jewish faith in America are Democrats? Is there any question that without the Christians who resulted from the aftermath of Christ's death -- and later non-death -- that we would not have had the Crusades. Thank you, Howard Dean.


Paris Hilton -- She's got all the money in the world but one must wonder why, with all that cash and clout, does she get herself in so much trouble? One word: Democrats. How would you feel if you had earned all that money from the difficult task of being born and then Harry Reid only let you keep countless millions by taxing the death of your benefactors and attempting to throw your rightful inheritance into an increase of the minimum wage? Who would blame you for feeling like become painfully obnoxious or blowing up a plane or two?


Planet of the Apes -- We were once a country of powerful humans and then the Democrats started pushing to kill the future powerful humans into abortions and stem cell murders. Was it any wonder the seemingly less intelligent creatures (proto-Democrats) ended up enslaving Charlton Heston?


Global Warming -- No one can question that until Al Gore and his liberal scientist community ilk came up with the term and the movie, there was no global warming to speak of. Sure, the earth might have been getting hotter, but tell me anyone would have noticed if it weren't for Democrats? Now were stuck with it, and as we all know, tensions increase during the hot summer months, especially amongst terrorists. Thank you, Mr. Gore, for caring so-o-o-o much about our earth. Or is it the destruction of said earth?


Homosexuals -- Other than the few who live in political Log Cabins, Hollywood, or with the Indigo Girls, would there really be all that many gays if it weren't for the Democratic Party? Sharper clothes, better bodies, artistic to a fault, pushed for more and more equal rights by the Nancy Pelosi and Barney Frank, the homosexual community's incessant recruiting of our young becomes easier and more attractive. Known to have major problems procreating, once they've been allowed to induct all our kids, how long before -- except for the terrorists -- there are none us left. And don't get me started on the Teletubbies.


Floyd Landis -- Do we need Cindy Sheehan to move next to us to understand that Americans are meant to ride bike in Crawford, Texas, not around the Arch de Triumph? But with the Michael Moore/Al Franken defeatist wing of the Democratic Party pushing us to stay friends with and ride bikes in the defeatist French-speaking nation, who wouldn't take drugs? How soon will our naive bike-riding American children start taking performance-enhancing drugs? Don't think the terrorists aren't just waiting for those children to grow up into marijuana-sedated adults easily defeated with nary a hair-gel explosive required.


Herpes -- The sexual revolution, a Democratic Party party that set in motion non-procreating sex and every single STD known to man. Even liberal scientists will back up the fact that with no sex we could rid the world of sexual transmitted disease. Now it might be too late, as it seems that John Murtha just doesn't get that terrorists have been emboldened by the Democratic males' morning-after cut-and-run tactic. If we need to, let's have sex over there so we don't have to have it over here.

It would be smart for every American to take a breath and realize that the two party system exists the same way that good and bad does. Let's not choose the one that wants the terrorists or the Dixie Chicks to win.

Steve's newest wacky novel for the kiddies, "15 MINUTES" (HarperCollins), hits the book shelves this month. (

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Albion Monitor   August 10, 2006   (

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