SHOCKER: O'REILLY CALLS FOR BUSH TO STEP DOWN

by Steve Young

In a shocking turn of events, this past week radio talk show host Bill O'Reilly demanded President Bush's resignation. Sure it's hard to believe, but taking on demagogues as well as entire countries, O'Reilly has never been one to pull his punches, so President Bush had better take Bill's words seriously.

Here's how it went down: While pleading his case against a school newspaper on the University of Oregon campus, O'Reilly derided UO Dean, Dave Frohnmayer, for not taking steps to close down the newspaper. That the school has no editorial control over what the paper publishes nor legal ability to close it, Bill knows that a President needn't adhere to law to do what needs to be done.

Fearless, Bill won't even let the Supreme Court deter his protectionist fight for America's folks. No matter that there are two rulings from the Supremes that restrict a public university's control over publications from recognized student groups. Bill understands that just because the Supreme Court says so, it doesn't necessarily make it right. Alright?

What irked Bill more than anything was that Frohnmayer did not condemn and shut down the newspaper. Forget the law. Forget the trial. Jus' throw da bums out! If you're not willing to do so, then it's you who must go. Alright?

Next came the coup de grace. Using the opportunity to make a political point that surely threw the White House and the entire Republican Party for a loop, O'Reilly said that a President should be held to the same scrutiny -- if you don't deal with insurrections immediately, you must step down.^* Do you hear that, Mr. Bush? That's what Bill's talking about.

O'Reilly doesn't just toss out those conclusions willy-nilly. He is well aware that any declaration he utters will have national -- nay, international -- ramifications. No one in the business of investigative journalism has put together the crack team Bill has, thoroughly analyzing the finite details of every possible news, legal or cultural innuendo. Any potential sabotage of what is morally right and factually correct is in Bill's cross-hairs. Right, left, gay, straight or Paul Krugman, you screw with the folks, Bill's gonna getcha. You'd have to be a looney pinhead secular progressive Christianity-hater from San Francisco to think Bill wasn't aware of misdeeds ignored by President Bush when he called for his resignation..

Michael Brown, Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, George Tenet, lack of troops and body armor, Plamegame, Dubai, etc. Who knows which one set Bill off? Though he did not explain which of the many times President Bush has not responded to insurrections against good common sense, obviously some recent one must have put Bill over the edge. Never one to let a misstatement go by without an apology or correction, it's been days since he made the comment, and he has yet to pull back one word. That, ladies and gentlemen, takes guts Alright?

When Bill decried Time magazine's cover photo of the Dixie Chicks and said that Time would never place a far right person on its cover, despite the fact that Ann Coulter -- whose only remote claim to fame is being so far right that she falls off the scale -- was the mag's cover girl just last year, Bill stood firm. Why? Because only a poltroon lets facts get in the way of a good Talking Point Memo.

Though there was no call by Bill to boycott America until Bush steps down, I wouldn't put it past him. This is not a guy who takes being ignored lightly. Ask France.

As of this posting Mr. O'Reilly has not chosen to make further comments nor returned any of my phone calls, none of which were made to him.

Still developing.