God Created Bill (And Why He Did)

by Steve Young

Everything's for a good reason, yeah? Then explain Bill O'Reilly.

If I heard that once I've heard it, oh, I don't know, seven or eight times. But the point is, these people who rail on Bill are secularists, pure and simple. They say they believe in God, but if you truly believe in an omniscient and compassionate Supreme Being (and aren't They all?) then everything has happened for a good reason. Including Bill O'Reilly. But more times than not, when we question the "good reason," we're not privy to the answer.

Still, it doesn't keep so many of us asking those unanswerable questions.

Why must so many innocent children suffer through devastating disease, starvation and war. Why do good as well as bad get swallowed up by natural disasters? Why do Prime Ministers of Israel suffer strokes? Why Bill O'Reilly?

And they don't stop there: Why does Bill, who claims not to be a partisan, set up his hammering of the left with a momentary, "the far right does it too," but (almost?) never makes the far right the focus of his consternation? Why does he hammer Ted Kennedy but not Tom "The Hammer" DeLay?

Why does Bill say he's NOT a partisan nor has an agenda, but hits on the same bad boys incessantly? (See: ACLU: America's Greatest Threat Or Menace?)

Why does Bill repeatedly rip George Soros and his support for MoveOn and their "personal attacks," but not a word about Brent Bozell's Media Research Center-affiliated site, Cybercast News Service and their Swift-boating of John Murtha's war record? (Didn't know about that? LINK)

Why does Bill say the L.A. Times makes personal attacks and contends that Newsmax doesn't? (He actually claimed he couldn't find their attacks.)

Why does he hammer left-wing smear sites with audiences that measure in the thousands, but not Limbaugh or Hannity, who have millions taking their smears and perversions of the truth as gospel?

Why does he incessantly berate sites like mediamatters.org for taking his comments out of context when they offer complete video and sound bites from his own show -- yet he has no problem editing the same bites to fit support his argument?

Why does he slam the Democrats for making Mrs. Alito cry, but forgets to mention that was Republican Lindsey Graham (who Bill was interviewing at the time), whose words actually brought her to tears?

Why does Bill report the Factor poll numbers as if they were evidence of all of America's opinion, when, by far, the voters are just O'Reilly fans?

Why does he spend myriad hours calling the New York Times "Bush Haters," but nary a second on the Times' (almost) unquestioned support to the Bush administration's ramp up to war? And where's his fury when it comes to President Bush's whittling away at the Constitution? When Bill discusses it at all, he does so with the dyspeptic air of someone reluctantly admitting an unpleasant family scandal.

Enough with the non-believer, God-hating questions! Far-Left secularist moonbats will always play the "lies, deception and hate-speech" card. But that is just as wrong-headed as those who say it was God who created those suicidal maniacal pilots who flew jumbo jets into the World Trade Center. Of course, if I follow my "God does everything for a good reason" hypothesis, then he did create them. And for a good reason. This is not to say that Bill O'Reilly's very existance is analogous to those murdering terrorists, though, in a way, I guess I am. God, this figuring- out- God thing is not easy.

I admit to being a liberal and yet I know Bill is here for a good reason. A God reason. Perhaps many. And though I would never admit to know for sure why God does anything, I can make a few nonsecular guesses:

• So Keith Olbermann wouldn't have a difficult time coming up with his "Worst Person of the Day."
• So Al Franken could be a millionaire.
• So we have more than "The Daily Show" to go to for a good laugh.
• So Cheney and Limbaugh need not have been the only chicken-hawks who were able to dodge the draft.
• Most of all, God gave us O'Reilly so that we could see the result of what happens when ego runs 100MPH into insanity.

All of which goes towards making us feel like we're reasonable, sane people with our feet planted firmly on terra firma and our heads securely attached to our shoulders and not permanently wedged up our nether parts.

So stop already with the O'Reilly demonization. Remember...you mess with Bill, you're messin' with God.

And that's a Memo.