Oddie & Harriet

by Steve Young

Rejecting cronyism and learning a lesson from the disastrous choice of the inexperienced Mike Brown as head of FEMA, President George W. Bush chose his personal attorney whose background as a judge ... um ... whoops, is that the time? Gotta go, sorry.

Yep. Even the Lords of Loud had a problem with this one. Talk radio, TV, newspapers. Everyone 'cept slave to talking point, Scott McClellan, thought this was the wrong choice. Even Vice President Darth Vader's stop at the home of loyalists Limbaugh and Hannity didn't stop the far-right bleeding.

Interestingly enough, diatribes by print Lords of Loud, Sir Will, Sir Krystol, and Herr Krautheimer, cut far more cruelly than any written on the left; the left who were splitting their side trying to hold back their glee.

Perhaps the president just believes in on the job training. It worked for him. Not well, but it did get him elected -- once. Sort of.

Perhaps he believes that with all the fire and rain -- Iraq, Katrina, Brownie, Rove, Libby, Frist, a White House of Indictment crumbling all about him -- comparatively, selecting H.M. wouldn't be so bad. Perhaps you think he's just a nitwit who makes nitwit decisions because he's been a nitwit so often, why should this time be different, nitwit-wise. But that, I believe, just might be exactly what he wants you to think.

While the President's judgment in selecting a new judge doesn't include any judges, and might seem ignorant at best, you just got to know that the most brilliant man Harriet Miers has ever met has got to have some sort of plan. Since I can't see into his heart to know for sure, let me give it a guess.

Without a judicial record, other than a lack of qualifications, Harriet Miers makes a very difficult target. Democrats will have to be more "creative," or will have to do what is known in political circles as "make up" adversarial concerns.

Why the odd spelling of Miers' last name? Meyers or Myers would seem to be a more honest spelling. Does she have a Jewish background she wants to hide? And if not, why not?

We've seen pictures of her with glasses and without. Which is it?

Quite honestly, a woman with this much to hide, or perhaps, nothing to hide, being so secretive about her lack of things to hide in itself is suspicious.

And when the Dems ask for the only paper trail there is, H.M. is lathered up good in executive privilege. "Can't give you that. If we did we'd have to tell you what Ken Lay said to Darth at the energy conclave. Then we might as well scrap the Constitution."

Now who looks stupid?

Then again, Bush could be brilliant. As in Chauncey Gardiner brilliant. Just being in the White House rose garden all this time could have caused him to select a flower from the yard that, though an unfamiliar species, could grow on us.

Of course, only the President -- and evangelical Lord of Loud, James Dobson -- knows the truth.

As the President has assured us, Harriet will never change. Y'see, a person only changes when he learns. In this White House, nothing ever changes.

NEW YORK TERRORISM SPOILER: The super-secret information is revealed: the New York City subway terrorist attack was planned for ...wait for it...wait for it...SUNDAY! The day of lowest subway ridership of the week! Who's stupider? The terrorists for setting up to kill as many people as they can ON A SUNDAY or Homeland Security, Bloomberg, et al, buying that an attack from these demonic assholes would come when no one's around? Hey, you're right.